Thursday, December 18, 2008

Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 19

This past weekend I went up to New York for my best friend's big surprise birthday bash, which was an absolute blast and I am so happy I went. It was a quick drive in and out with the kids but Grandma and Grandpa decided that we had to squeeze in a trip to the American Girl store to get the girls their Christmas presents. Da Man bowed out with a convenient illness and so the rest of us braved the freezing cold weather that day to go midtown.

Anyone can tell you that the Rockefeller Center area on any given weekend is usually extremely crowded, but in December it is a mob scene. There was no getting anywhere near the Saks Fifth Avenue Christmas windows and people were packed in like sardines around the tree. Meanwhile just trying to get into the American Girl store is like trying to see the Pope. After waiting on a block long line to get into the madhouse of a ridiculously overpriced store that clearly shows no signs of understanding what the word recession means, we stumbled out dazed and exhausted. As badly as the girls wanted to take a cab home, there were no cabs to be had. We struggled like salmon during spawning season against the tide of wall to wall tourists and finally wriggled our way to the nearest train station.

The D train was as crowded as if it was rush hour. It reminded me of those Japanese commuter trains where the train conductors come up and push people onto the train. My Mom dives on to the train in true New York fashion, dragging Oldest behind her while me and my Dad with Angus and Youngest barely squeeze on. I can hear my Dad complaining that my Mom would rather ditch us than miss the train. He may be right. She can be very one track minded. That's a train pun. he he.

I can hear Angus moaning and groaning about the press of people around her but at least she and my Dad are by a pole. Oldest keeps asking me anxiously if their American Girl presents are ok while I'm holding Youngest's hand while also carrying a very large American Girl Store shopping bag and extending my other arm out as far as I can to hold on to something, anything!, even while being held up by 8 different strangers around me.

I ask Youngest if she is ok and the next thing I hear is:

"All I can see is butts, Mommy. Butts, butts, butts! But it's ok, cause I'm holding my bweath!"

Over the eruption of laughter, I reach over and slap a hand over Angus's mouth before she can say the inappropriateness that her gleaming mischievous eyes are brimming over with. Luckily we get off at the next stop before my kids say anything more alarming.

27 comments:

Lisa said...

HA! Anybody that can make a train car full of people laugh at Christmas time has an incredible future ahead of her :)

Kim Kasch said...

Out of the mouths of babes...

We sometimes forget other people's perspectives - maybe sometimes that's a good thing ;-)

Charles Gramlich said...

There really is a store called "American girl?" you're kidding.

JaneyV said...

My daughter's American Girl Doll is a prized possession. She's about the only toy that she's ever been given that's still in mint condition.

Youngest is hysterical. I bet it gave the other commuters a smile in an otherwise hellish journey. And hey it probably made them think twice about letting one go. Whatever she'd have said next couldn't have been as alarming as finding yourself at butt height in a squashed-in subway train. That was a perfect fart joke opportunity.

Cheryl Kauffman said...

My daughter said something similar when she was little and we were at a crowded Christmas Eve service at church. I was sooo embarrassed.

Melissa Marsh said...

You've done it again, Ell, made me almost spit out my morning Diet Pepsi!

moonrat said...

ha!!

train moments are my favorite.

sorry i missed you this time... hope i'll "meet" you soon!

Larramie said...

Ello, I've been there, done that on a regular weekend and not with young girls in tow. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience that has you ordering from the catalog or online next time.

For now, though, you are all very brave!

Vesper said...

:-) :-) :-)

I remember a school trip by train. It was night when we returned, we were packed like sardines in semi-darkness, and there was a big dog, my friend's Irish Setter, tripping all over our feet. :-)

Merry Monteleone said...

Hi Ello,

You braved the American Girl store at Christmas time? Are you insane?

I love Angus. Anyone who can make a car full of holiday frazzled NewYorkers laugh is awesome.

Mary Witzl said...

Kids in public places can be a whole lot of fun -- sometimes! Like you, I used to have my hand ready to slap over a mouth or two, back when my kids were butt level.

And I used to ride on those packed trains in Tokyo every single day. They really do come and push you on -- we used to call out to the man with his stick if he was taking too much time pushing people somewhere else.

Nandini said...

LOL! Your Mum sounds kinda like mine. We went to the Rockefeller center/American Girl Store in Oct. I thought the subway/cabs/crowds were bad then! I actually like the AG books (especially the historical ones) and my daughter loves Josefina, but who can afford all that? Lucky me, since then they've opened a store in OUR town (Natick MA)! The girls are thrilled, the moms, not so much ...

Mom In Scrubs said...

I was actually thinking as you were talking about the train about how kids must feel being squished by a bunch of big people...Tell it like it IS, Angus!!

My favorite was the analogy to salmon swimming upstream - brilliant!

spyscribbler said...

HAH! Ohmigosh, that is priceless. So true, too! A good writing lesson, to remember to change our perspective, too! LOL!

laughingwolf said...

love it! thx ell :D

i've not been in nyc for what seems like eons...

writtenwyrdd said...

I'd have laughed at that, too. I hate riding when I can't hang on like that.

McKoala said...

Oh, that has to be the high point of everybody's Christmas!

Barrie said...

Love it! I've had my make a few interesting remarks in elevators!

J. L. Krueger said...

You better be saving all these for a book! Smart move to clamp Angus' mouth shut given some of the things she's come up with in the past. But, maybe you missed out on another great one-liner!

strugglingwriter said...

"All I can see is butts, Mommy. Butts, butts, butts! But it's ok, cause I'm holding my breath!"

I love it as always. Thank you for sharing!

ORION said...

I so love new york but I am such a weenie about getting a cab...they practically run over me to pick up other passengers!
Have a great holiday!
Mele Kalikimaka

ORION aka Patricia Wood

Kelly said...

Youngest is so darn precious, and so funny! You are BRAVE (or crazy!) to go shopping with the kids in the crowded city at Christmastime!

Jennifer said...

Hi Ello--fellow gtown law grad here, mother of 3. LOVE these stories about your kids!

On a plane once, when my oldest was 3, he said to the woman next to him, "My papa is always naked." She smiled and said, "Well, we all need to undress sometimes to take a bath and change our clothes." To which my son said, "NO, he is ALWAYS naked!"

No idea where that came from. The woman didn't say much to us after that, and my husband was glad he was on the other side of me.

Carleen Brice said...

What a great Christmas gift: another story of the girls! Thanks!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Tee hee, I love Youngest's mischievousness. I just have to ask one question: exactly why did you subject yourself to all this? Or is there a contagion of Xmas shopping going on - and you've caught it?

Ello said...

Hi everyone!

Youngest was sick all week but is finally better. Now Angus is sick.

And to answer Vanilla's question, I had no choice! Once my mom has something in her head, there is nothing to do but follow through!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Mom.It's me,Oldest!Why are you embarrasing me on the internet?I hope this makes me popular.Hey mom, do me a favor and stick to embarrasing Angus and Youngest.Also,why did you call me Oldest?!?I'm not that old!Ok,I don't want to yell at you on your own website:)LOVE YOU!!!