A woman called a travel agent and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?"
The travel agent said "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?"
The travel agent put the woman on hold to laugh hysterically before coming back on line and explaining that the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
A woman was sitting in her bathroom stall minding her own business when a voice emerged from the stall next to her.
“Hey, how you doing?” the voice said.
Surprised the woman asked if she was talking to her.
“Uh huh,” the voice replied.
“Um, fine thank you,” the woman replied, wondering if perhaps her neighbor needed toilet paper or something else.
“Is everything ok over there?” the voice persisted.
The woman was starting to get annoyed, “Um, yes, not that it’s any of your business.”
“Well, then can I come over there?” the voice asked.
“What is wrong with you?” the woman responded. “Can’t you respect my privacy?”
“Hold on,” the voice continued, “there’s some idiot in the next stall answering all my questions.”
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
And I will end with my favorite Deep Thoughts quote by Jack Handey
"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."