Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 11

Yesterday was an incredibly hot day. Over a 100 even in the late afternoon. I decided to take the girls to the pool after school. There were a lot of kids already there. Mostly boys. The water was so warm it was like a bath but still refreshing from the incredible heat.

There was also an attractive woman in a very revealing black bikini. She was standing on the steps into the pool with her back to Youngest as she paddled by. Youngest stops right behind her and calls out to her.

"Excuse me lady! You have a rock on your butt!" Youngest says in her loud cute carrying voice.

"What?" Bikini lady asks.

"YOU HAVE A ROCK ON YOUR BUTT!" Youngest shrieks.

By this time I have grabbed Youngest and am trying to pull her away from the scene she is causing as little boys start gathering to look at this lady's butt. Bikini lady finally figures out what Youngest is going on about.

"Oh that!" she says with a strained smile. "That's just a mole."

"A MOLE?!!" Youngest shrieks. "It looks like a nimple. A nimple on her butt!"

She turns to me and says again, "Mommy, she has a nimple on her butt!"

I am trying to cover her mouth as the little boys start chanting nimple, nimple, nimple, butt, butt, butt! Poor woman. Luckily, Youngest then farted in the pool, leaving a trail of bubbles as she promptly announced "I farted in the pool and felt bubbles come out of my butt!"

All the boys forgot all about nipple butt lady trying to turn the pool into a jacuzzi.

I decided to get out before a real accident occurred.

29 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

nimple butt, nimple butt. Does have a ring to it.

SzélsőFa said...

Poor you, Ello.
I guess you have tried to pretend not knowing your own kids, but leaving them alone is dangerous and you have to collect them anyway.
Let's pray they are going to be great researchers and/or writers and the like so that they will have the opportunity to say the revealing truth up and aloud.

Mary Witzl said...

Wearing a bikini in a swimming pool full of kids is just asking for trouble. I'll never forget the time a bikini-wearing woman accidentally 'popped her top,' amazing and exciting an entire swimming class of kids who talked about it for the next 15 minutes. She exited the pool in a hurry. A group of adolescent boys would have been kinder.

Kim Stagliano said...

OMG!!! So funny. Popped over from Stephen's. We were at the town pool this weekend. My God, if that's not an ad for how fat and gross American's are I don't know what is! The men have huge boobs and stomachs hanging over their suits. And ladies? That black skirt over your bottom ain't hiding a thing! LOL! Great post!

Erica Orloff said...

OMG . . .

If your kids ever meet Demon Baby, watch out.

LOL!
E

JaneyV said...

I love your kids! Farting in the pool is way preferable to what m eldest did when he was two. We actually were in the jacuzzi bit when he stood up out of the water whipped out his equipment and peed right there in the water - Talk about a quick exit!!!

If he'd only stayed sitting - nobody would have seen.

Bernita said...

Kids!
More fun than any movie.

strugglingwriter said...

He he he. :)

We are also experiencing the extreme heat in PA and went to the local town pool.

We didn't experience anything like that, but did have issues. My 2 year old kept crying to be in the "big girl pool" and wanted me to "let her float" even though if I let her go she would sink to the bottom - something hard to tell to a toddler.

Aerin said...

Ello, aren't you glad your kids will be the kind that grow up unafraid to speak their minds or have their own voices?


*just trying to be positive while I adjust my black swim skirt*

laughingwolf said...

lol ...that's a good'un! ;)

Sarah Hina said...

That must have been some mole...

I'm going to the pool today with my kids. I'm thinking that maybe I should muzzle them. ;)

Funny story, Ello!

Melissa Marsh said...

Oh. My. Goodness. I just got my morning laugh. Thanks, Ell. ;-)

March to the Sea said...

hehehe..i need to go to that pool..for a few reasons..hehehehe

Ello said...

It is sad to say, but I no longer even try to correct her into saying nipple the right way because it is so funny to hear her say nimple. It's like an inside joke. What do you call a pimple on your breast? A nimple!

ChrisEldin said...

AHAHAHAHAH!

an attractive woman in a very revealing black bikini:

depending on your definitions, that could be me.
attractive=plump
revealing=one piece
black=large floral print
bikini=wedgy

Jennifer L. Griffith said...

Oh, too funny and you must've wanted to melt!!

Should I say that it is dumping SNOW and 27 degrees at my house as I write this morning. We're suppose to get 6-10 inches at elevations higher than my 7000 ft today...how's that for June?!? Hard to convince anyone around here about global warming this summer...now, last year was a different story.

Larramie said...

Oh my, and they're not even on vacation. What a summer you'll have, Ello! *VBG*

Lana Gramlich said...

*LOL* That's why I have plants...but I kid...

pjd said...

Always carry peanut butter crackers. When the words start coming out, the peanut butter cracker goes in. The rest is just "mmph nmpmph mmph."

"You have a rock on your butt." This might have had a chance of winning the "best pickup line" contest at EE's blogiversary party.

Demon Hunter said...

ROFLMAO!!! Nimple on her butt? LOL. Then the boys started chanting it? Too funny... Kids tell the truth. LOL.

Travis Erwin said...

Better you than me.

Steve Malley said...

100 degrees?!

Winter here, and for a little bit of warmth, *I'd* be willing to let kids call me nimple butt!

Robin S. said...

Ha! Better you than me, El.

(Been there, honey,though no nimples.)

What a scream that baby of your is!
Very cool girl.

SzélsőFa said...

Nina Simone.

blogless troll said...

AHAHAHAHA!

Youngest is cool.

The Anti-Wife said...

Hi, Ello! Love your kids! And it was 47 here in Seattle this morning. 6 inches of snow in the mountains Monday night.

Ambera said...

Funny is definitely the only label you need for this post. I just cracked up like a madwoman reading this!
Thanks for all those wonderful comments you left on my blog, I've really been enjoying yours.
Cheers!
Ambera

Danette Haworth said...

HA! And I like Sara's comment: "That must have been some mole."

Carleen Brice said...

Poor woman nothing. You go to the pool showing your ass and you get what you deserve!