Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Brain Fart

Today the phone rang and I got up, walked into the kitchen, where the main phone is hanging on the wall, walked right by the phone and proceeded to open the refrigerator door. I stared blindly into the fridge wondering what the heck I was looking for when the answering machine clicked on, reminding me of what I was originally supposed to do.

One hour later, I walked into the kitchen to get a soda. As I was walking, I noticed Angus' harmonica on the floor. I picked it up and took it with me to the kitchen. When the kids came home from school, they went to get drinks. All of a sudden I hear them laughing. Apparently I had put the harmonica in the fridge.

I am suffering from chronic brain farts. Da Man has taken to calling me a knucklehead. I think it is all related to my dental woes. Da Man assures me that I have always been a bit of a knucklehead. He's nice. I think I shall have a brain fart and accidentally put his work security pass into the freezer.

32 comments:

Kim Kasch said...

I guess a brain fart is better than Diarrhea of the mouth.

Sometimes I start to say something and utter poop plops out.

Mom In Scrubs said...

I totally empathize!! (Had to look that one up: empathy vs. sympathy). In my house there has been ice cream in the cupboard, a telephone in the hall closet, and car keys in the waste basket. Mostly I'm the culprit.

We have a defense, Ello. For every child we birth, brain cells die off en masse. People should be impressed that mothers can function on anything other than a primordial level!!

pjd said...

Interesting note by mom in scrubs. My first thought on reading about the harmonica in the fridge was, "hmm, maybe she's pregnant." But I'm thinking MiS may be on to something.

My wife has recently noticed her tendency to mangle common idioms into Yogi Berra-esque sayings. For example, we were talking about Religious types, and she mentioned something about "Jesus thumpers." She meant "Bible thumpers," but I stopped listening as I tried to reconcile the image in my head of a few thugs beating up Jesus in a dark alley.

The other one recently came up during a discussion of California's Prop 8, the anti-gay marriage amendment. Again, we were discussing Religion, and she ventured the phrase, "the elephant in the closet." Of course she meant to be talking about the elephant in the room, but this being about Republicans and gay marriage, it seemed unintentionally far more appropriate.

Whirlochre said...

Know what you mean, Jim.

I've had a 'meet n greet' kind of week and I haven't managed to get a single name right yet.

JaneyV said...

When I can't find something I always go to the fridge first. I've found car keys, the telephone, toys etc in there and every time it was me who put them there. I am forever mixing up my words and and then forgetting what I was saying and as for names.....

*sigh* - even the kids names get lost in my brain custard!

moonrat said...

no! i see a theme! in both "brain fart" cases, you got the refrigerator involved when it didn't need to be.

i think you should look at what your subconscious is trying to tell you. clearly there is something delicious in the fridge that really needs to be eaten.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

LMAO - I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has this problem. Last week I tried to stack the dishes into the fridge, from the dishwasher... Don't worry, dear, you are not alone...

Melissa Marsh said...

Hahaha...you must be in deep thought about something!

spyscribbler said...

LOL! I just have to share: my root canal disasters are over! I can chew normally now! (I think.) I still have three tiny cavities. *sigh* But by January 2009, I will be done going to the dentist for at least six months! It's been a part-time freaking job, no kidding.

March to the Sea said...

whoa..at least the kids are not ending up in there!!

ChrisEldin said...

LOL! I have these moments all the time. It's embarrassing when the kids notice though.
Okay, so I'm beginning to believe your dental stories may be true.

I just thought they were really awesome chapters for an upcoming novel....
:-)

Charles Gramlich said...

I put my glasses in the fridge once.

Smittenly Written said...

I'm with Moonrat!!! :) There is a voice calling to you from the fridge and only you can hear it. It channeled through the dental work dental work...duh!!!

Anonymous said...

My Dearest Knucklehead,

I really wouldn't fret over such thing for at least you haven't misplaced (or thrown away) anything of real importance like, for example, a passport or marriage license.

. . . that job continues to be mine.

Da' Man

pacatrue said...

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Steve Malley said...

I do these things all the time. Thank heavens I'm too young (just) to be accused of senility.

Due to dial-up slowosity, I'm only going to comment on this one, but you better believe I'll be reading and laughing at everything I've missed!

Merry Monteleone said...

If it makes you feel better, I once put milk in the cabinet... I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I didn't realize I'd done it until the next time I went to get a dish, which was like four hours later... icky...

And, no, I wasn't pregnant, but I have three kids and you do lose concentration abilities with each.. someone was probably talking at me while I was putting away groceries.

Sigh...

Travis Erwin said...

Do brain farts smell like musty books in an old library since they come from the organ of knowledge?

Don't be concerned, I've been in a weird mood all day.

Ello said...

Kim I have diarrhea all the time.
Of the mouth too!

Mom in scrubs - I threw my wallet in the garbage a couple of times. That seriously made me mad at myself! And yeah, I've definitely killed off alot of brain cells.

Pete - elephant in the closet is hysterical! That's a keeper! I think I'm going to use it. And boy have I been mangling lots of words lately.

Whirl - I can't even get my kids names straight anymore...

janey - you are me and I am you

moonrat - peach pie and chocolate chip cookie dough. Need I say more?

Vanilla - actually my nanny has a tendency to put dirty dishes in the cupboards. That one just drives me crazy. I'm noticing a female trend here, huh?

Melissa - I wish I was in deep thought. Right now my brain is a wide empty void of gas.

Oh Spy! I just got back from my 4th visit and am in terrible pain again. I have to go back in 2 weeks. sob sob. I can't even imagine you going for 6 months! I feel for you!!!

Ello said...

March - only because they don't fit!!!

Chris - that kind of pain cannot be imagined only lived!

Charles - I sat on my glasses numerous times. This is why I gt titanium frames!

Joy - well you know how food is always talking to me. Telling me how I want that delicious slice of chocolate right to your thighs cake or that leftover peach big butt pie.

Ha ha! How could I forget that DA MAN threw my passport and our wedding license away! I feel better now!

Paca - you're an academic. Absent minded comes with the degree!

STeve - you are too young to do these things!!!

Merry - I left milk in a baby bottle in the car in the summertime overnight. The smell was incredible! We just can't escape Mom Brain.

Travis - HA! That made me laugh!!

Colleen_Katana said...

It happens to the best of us! I've been talking on my cell phone while simultaneously freaking out because I can't "find my cellphone."

Mom: Colleen, what are you doing that you sound so out of breath?

Me: I can't find my phone! I'm expecting a call, too!

Mom: Ummm, sweetpea? What are you talking to me on? How many times do I have to tell you not to wash Advil down with red wine...it makes you a little absent-minded.

cindy said...

ah, submissions daze. we love it! as long as you don't try to shove da man in the fridge next! =) *hugs*

/bootay shake and lucky dust*****!!

Lisa L. Leibow said...

Will you hate me if I say your admission comforts me. It makes me glad I'm not the only one!

Akasha Savage said...

I once did a whole pile of ironing then realised I hadn't actually turned the iron on! :)

Patti said...

oh how i have missed me some ello. i am a fellow bf'er. i actually looked at a tampon yesterday and wondered what the hecko is that for. then i came to my senses and looked around to make sure no one heard my thoughts. i blame the marathon...

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J. L. Krueger said...

Hello Ello!

Finally getting a wee bit of time to get around and visit again. I had a brain fart the other day too. I was wondering all day why I felt so "light." Somehow I didn't notice that I walked out the door minus about 20 pounds of armor vest.

I really empathize with the root canal bit...been there done that!

Loved your conniving little one story!

Mary Witzl said...

Uh oh -- you've just described what happens to me every other day. I do everything in the same circuitous, serendipitous way, and why not? It makes life so much more fun and interesting.

And whenever I can't find my keys or my wallet, the fridge is always my third or fourth port of call.

Ello said...

Colleen - I usually do that with my keys. I'm frantically looking all over for them and they are in my hands the whole time. It really makes one feel dumb!

Cindy - da man is too big for me to shove anywhere! But I like to torture him as he sleeps.

Lisa - it makes me happy to hear so many others suffer from brain fartdom also!!!

Akasha - oh I hate me ironing! I would have done that but on purpose!!

Patti - ha ha!! have you seen the tampon craft website? You've got to see it!

JLK - ok your story freaked me out!!! Do not forget your armor!!!!! But so glad to see you around!

Mary - at least it looks like we have alot of company!!!

writtenwyrdd said...

Yep, badge in the ice cube tray!

writtenwyrdd said...

So funny!

writtenwyrdd said...

Oh, and wait until you get to the over-40 brain retrieval errors. Words that were there suddenly aren't. Names you KNOW suddenly aren't accessible. It'll drive you crazy(er).