This is Youngest as a toddler. Notice the truculent expression on her face. This expression has not changed much over the years. And while normally she is the sweetest, laid back, most easy going and loving kid, the kid has got a wicked temper just like her dad, Da Man Troll.
Yesterday I asked Youngest to pick up her toys.
"I'm too tired," she said as she lounged upside down upon the couch, bobbing her head off over the edge while her legs were splayed straight up the back of the couch.
"They are not my toys they are your toys and you need to put them away," I snapped.
"I didn't take them out," she protested, still in her upside down position. I paused. On Thursdays, she comes home at 12:30 and stays home with me until the nanny comes and I go pick up the girls from school at 3 and then leave for campus. It was 2pm. There was no other child in the house at the time.
"They were not out when you left for school this morning and they are out now. No one else played with them."
"How do you know?" she sat up with an innocent look on her face.
"What?"
"How do you know space aliens didn't come out and play with my toys?"
"Oh so you are saying invisible space aliens flew into our house and played with your Dora talking dollhouse?"
She nodded her head vigorously as she smiled in glee.
I stood before her and reminded her of what was coming.
"You know Santa Claus is watching you and if you tell a lie it is considered very naughty."
The above truculent expression crossed her face.
"He can see me all the time?"
I nodded. She leaned back against the couch, kicking one of her toy furniture pieces idly.
"Can he read my thoughts?" she asked.
"No, but God can and God tells Santa everything."
"Alright fine, I took the toys out," she admitted. With a heavy sigh she lay back down on the couch.
"I'm waiting for you to clean up!" I reminded her.
"But Mommy I told you I was too tired!"
"Baby, I just told you Santa is watching you!"
"Mommy, Santa is not going to be mad at me if I has an important reason. And I told you I am tired and I need my rest or I can get sick and then YOU will be in trouble with Santa, not me!!"
What a little lawyer. She is 4 going on 40.
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28 comments:
Oh Mommy are you in biiig trouble! She cracks me up! There is just no beating kiddy logic. It's just better than ours.
Hahahaha...I needed this laugh today, Ell, so I was so glad that you had another Random Funny Things my Kids Say post!
I feel there is a flaw in her reasoning, but I can't seem to find it.
Man. Santa, the space aliens, and God. It sounds like the beginning of a bad bar joke. Now if only I could think of a punchline....
LOL! She is as smart as a whip! I would have never thought of something like that at her age.
You can't complain Ello, it's genetic!
She is sooooooo cute, and toooooo clever! Did she ever pick up the toys? ;0)
My hubby calls my kids "lil lawyers" all the time, too...
Oh that is so funny!:)
Ah, an answer to everything. Gotta love it.
My boys used the "I'm tired" trick all the time, but they weren't clever enough to actually act tired. And they'd never be clever enough to turn the Santa logic around on me. Though I never played the Santa card until the final week or so before Christmas.
But you had another ace to play... you could simply have said, "Santa has known that I'm naughty for a long time. So I don't have much to lose there."
And LOL @Carrie Harris. Yes, God tells Santa everything. I love that line. Quick thinking there.
today, you have been santa burned by a kiddo. BURN!!!!!
Do we have the same daughter?!
I am afraid of that generation (we have one in our family too.) They out-think us already.
Have you ever heard of "Indigo" children? (If not, check it out on wikipedia.) Maybe there is some link to aliens after all.
:)
That's hysterical in other people's children.
She's just trying to protect you and make sure you have presents on Christmas morning - you can't be mad at that ;-)
Just wait until she is 14 - man, you are going to have beeeg trouble on your hands.
Respect for supernatural beings.
Hmmm.
Such a shame 'parents' disappears from the list so terribly early on.
I'm speechless. Truly.
Girls are too smart which makes me glad I had boys.
I work in a Primary School and get this sort of logic all day!
Are you sure she's not half-Vulcan? I think she could out-logic Mr. Spock!
Adorable! Now be careful, next she'll have you picking them up for her.
Use Santa for all it's worth!!! This is my first year without the Santa threat because alas, they figured it out...
I've started my own Random Things posts, Ello. Take it as a compliment, but also sort of as a - wtf, are your kids giving LESSONS or something????
She is sooooo cute!
And "How do you know space aliens didn't come out and play with my toys?" is worth millions!
Her child logic is infallible. Bravo!
Have to remember to put the splashguard down over the keyboard before I read your blog!
That was just *too* funny!!
Wow, you played the God card AND the Santa card. This has got to be a great time of year for parents!
Man, that kid figured out a Santa loophole?!
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