Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 9

Ok it's been awhile since I had anything good to report on my kids funny sayings. But I just got a doozy to post.

So Tuesdays and Thursdays are my days at home with youngest since she and I are both on part time school schedules. As much as I say I can't wait for her to start full time in the fall, I will definitely miss our days together. We usually run errands and have lunch together. She is a very easygoing kid.

Yesterday, we went to eat lunch at our local pizza joint, the best place in the DC area for New York style pizza. And I am picky about pizza. As we sat at our table, I notice Youngest keeps peering over my shoulder at someone. I look over and see that there is a mother nursing her baby in the booth diagonal from us. The woman is pretty open about it, not even bothering to cover up her breasts. Youngest keeps staring completely fascinated. When I tell her to mind her own business she says, "I saw her nimples!" For a four year old, she can be quite loud at the most inappropriate times.

"Shhhh," I whisper, "and they are called nipples not nimples."

"Oh! Nipples, nipples, nipples!" She starts chanting.

I hush her again and glance over to see if the mother is offended. She is too busy nursing the baby and yelling at her two year old. But the man in a business suit sitting behind Youngest is trying hard not to laugh out loud.

"That mommy has big bwestesses," she says in a cute Elmer Fudd way. "Her bwestessess is bigger than the baby's head!"

"Shhhhhh, you are being rude," I say.

She is quiet for awhile, still staring every so often. "The nipples has milk in it, right?" Youngest asks as she takes a bite of pizza.

"Yes."

"Does that make her a cow?"

The man behind her has choked on his soda.

"No, that does not make her a cow," I whisper and make scary eyes at her.

"Then does she drink cow milk to make milk for her nimples?" Youngest asks.

The man behind her is studiously avoiding my eyes.

"Nipples, honey, not nimples. And yeah, something like that!" I am still giving her the Mommy warning eyes but she is just not taking the hint.

Youngest is still staring.

"Honey you have got to stop staring!" I whisper, glaring at her.

"But Mommy! She is giving the baby soda! And you said soda is vewy bad for little kids!" Youngest shouts out indignantly.

"Shhh! She is not giving the baby soda!" I say trying to calm her down.

"Yes she is!" Youngest is up on her knees in her chair and pointing. "Look! She is drinking soda and the baby is drinking her NIMPLES!"

I am absolutely mortified as the man behind Youngest just about falls on the ground laughing and the nursing mom sends us completely puzzled looks.

"Please be quiet! Mommy made a mistake. Only milk comes out of there," I say as I shove her pizza in her mouth.

"Oh, ok," Youngest says agreeably. "Then she is like a cow after all."