Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Guest Post - from the Da Man

Da Man demanded his own blog entry with dire consequences to me if I were to alter his post in anyway. So here it is, warts and all:

Da’ Man is Back!

To those who doubted, distrusted, or otherwise disbelieved in Da’ Man (the “Dissenters”), I say “boo” to you (as in the most rabid Yankee fan taunting the Red Sox at a home game – Ello should appreciate this).

Anyway, I am back from lonely troll land in all of my glory and regalia so let the world know that Da’ Man has returned! So I say “HA!” (or “Ha Ha” or even “Ha Ha Haaaa”) to the Dissenters!

As for sleeping on the floor these past few nights, it’s actually been a pretty good deal as Angus and youngest still like to creep over in the middle of the night to crowd Ello all the while pushing me to the edge of the bed. Moreover, [ELLO SPOILER ALERT – the following is an Ello Spoiler, i.e., #3326 from list of things you don’t want to know about Ello. Stop reading lest your misguided faith in the Ello be dimmed], Ello does cut a mean . . . snore (admit it, you thought I was going to say something else, didn’t you) from time to time, and on those occasions if you can put some distance between your ears and her nose, you would be wise to do so. Consequently, I won’t say she snored every night of my banishment, but I will say I am a well rested soul.

In regard to that big ol’ diamond Ello keeps referencing, I would like to take this opportunity to say I too am waiting for that big ol’ 24 foot center console with twin Mercury outboards. But do I complain? No. For I understand that patience (and a good agent) are a virtue, and that in time Ello will realize (and have the royalties) to make Da’ Man an even happier Da’ Man.

Finally, thanks to those who believed in Da' Man and urged an end to his exile (more commonly known as the "Enlightened"). Your support is always appreciated. As for that self-folding laundry machine everyone keeps wishing for. Ello actually had one long ago in a galaxy far, far away. It was called “Da’ Man.”

Da’ Man

23 comments:

Lisa said...

*Clapping* Bravo! Da Man is a brave dude, for one so recently out of exile. Kudos to you for posting here in the hallowed shrine of some seriously rabid Ello fans ;)

JaneyV said...

Glad that you enjoyed the floor Da Man! I've had a look around the internet for a center console for you and for the tiny ikkle cost of $114K you could have this:
2005 PRO - LINE 31 Sport, with twin Honda 225 Four stroke VTEC, low hrs., w/ warranty, trim tabs, rocket launchers, spreader lights, spotlight, topgun outriggers, T-top, 2 live wells, fish box, tackle storage, tackle station, rod holders, pop-up cleats, transom shower, rear bench, leaning post, elec. marine head, sink, water tank, macerator, Raymarine Chartplotter, fishfinder, VHF w/ distress, AM/FM/CD and much more! Like new!!

I don't really understand the terminology very well but I'm impressed that it comes with its very own rocket launchers (just in case you come under attack while fishing), topgun outriggers (presumably for the same reason - I hope you get Maverick and Iceman), leaning post (for when you're feeling nonchalant), a macerator (for those twosie moments at sea) and fishfinder (they're in the water!). All that and it's 31' instead of 24'. That's 7 more feet for beer!
Now if I can just find Ello an agent......

Bernita said...

Ha! You don't sound contrite.

writtenwyrdd said...

Sounds like you two are two peas in a pod.

Precie said...

Da Man! ditto what writtenwyrd said!

Sarah Hina said...

More, please.

jason evans said...

Glad to see you made it.

Stephen Parrish said...

I'm one of those "seriously rabid Ello fans," but I was on your side all the way, Da Man. We need to guard against being ruled by THEM. I happens subtly. It creeps up on you. Before you know it . . . servitude!

cindy said...

haah! da man is a riot! hey, i'm glad the full moon waned and you shed your hairy trollness da man. just remember for the rest of your life YOU ARE OUTNUMBERED! my hub can barely handle his one sweet pea--nevermind you trying to get anything past all the girls in the house. hee!

ChrisEldin said...

Da Man is funny and brave! HAHAHAHA! But Ello gets her diamond first....
:*)

Larramie said...

And so it goes...according to Da Man. ;)

Charles Gramlich said...

I used to not mind sleeping on the floor. It was comfy and quiet. but these days my back doesn't take it as well as it used to.

Lana Gramlich said...

*LOL* Thanks for the laugh today, oh laundry folding machine!

Erica Orloff said...

Da Man:
I would get Ello that diamond. Otherwise, when she gets an agent and is rolling in the big bucks, she might trade you in.

:-)
Erica

J. L. Krueger said...

Hey Da Man!

Good for you on the post! More guest appearances would be nice. I too am vastly outnumbered...if only the dogs could talk and lend some vocal support! It's a constant battle. ;)

Patti said...

"ello does cut a mean...snore"

me thinks snore is code for cheese. and cheese is code for fart.

Ello said...

Hey everyone's comments gave me a big smile! Thanks to everyone who popped by! The silly man thinks he will have more terrible things to post about me. I tell him if that is what he wants he needs to get his own blog, but he is too lazy so watch out for more guest posts!

Anonymous said...

Actually, getting my own blog is on my "to-do" list right after "buy big, hunking diamond ring for Ello."

My thanks to you all as well, both Dissenters and the Enlightened alike.

Janeyv, believe me if you get Ello a good agent, you will be the first to push the red button to launch the first rocket "but never, ever push the blue button!" And if anyone caught this reference, you too are from the same peapod.

As far as being outnumbered, it's not all that bad as there's nothing like a woman's love. So I figure as long as I avoid my troll-like tendencies, I get a woman's love times 4!

More importantly, as much as I dread those first tender datig days to come, I do take some comfort in knowing that I'll have a chance to brush up on our local gun laws and start my knife/sword collection so I'm properly prepared to "gently" meet any potential suitors.

Da' Silly Man

Mary Witzl said...

Very, very good, and you guys ought to consider having a dueling blog. I don't think that's been done before, and I am sure it would be a hit. Good, sparkling repartee between two people married to each other is always a joy to witness.

My husband longs for a rocking chair, a rifle, and a front porch. He likes the idea of installing himself in this chair with a case of beer and keeping a keen eye out for potential suitors. Frankly, his snores would scare anyone away before he even got the chance to use the rifle -- especially if he had the beer first. As he would.

Travis Erwin said...

I raise A nice frost glass of Shiner Bock in honor of Da Man. I was with you all the way.

And when you get that boat you need to haul it down here to Texas so I can take you out bass fishing.

Precie said...

As far as being outnumbered, it's not all that bad as there's nothing like a woman's love. So I figure as long as I avoid my troll-like tendencies, I get a woman's love times 4!

Awwwwwwwwww. :)

Josephine Damian said...

Josie say: Da Man needs his own blog! Looks like some of Da Men are keen to throw their support behind him. Either way, humor abounds in the Oh house - can't wait to see what gems Da Kids'll come up with once they start blogging.

Josephine Damian said...

PS: Just keep repeating to yourself exactly what are the two happiest days in a boat owner's life (it's the same for a pool owner - trust me on that one).

No woman ever regretted having a big diamond (except in a Wilke Collins novel) whereas boatowners sooner or later suffer boat-buying regret.