Rotten Egg

Da Man had a bad day Tuesday. He woke up in a bad mood and took it out on everyone. Yelling at every single one of us and making all the girls cry right before school. He was supposed to go to work late and attend Youngest's cute little muscial concert that morning, but he was so foul I told him he didn't have to go and HE BELIEVED ME!!! And so he stomped off to work like the nasty ass Troll he had turned into. I took a whimpering Youngest off to her concert where she perked up in time to turn in a terrific performance which I taped but have not yet shared with Da Man who shall henceforth be referred to as the Troll.

I picked up the girls from school and as they ran to the car, Youngest shouts, "First one in the car is a rotten egg!" as she runs into the car first.

"No silly! It is last one in is a rotten egg!" Oldest says.

"I mean, last one in is the rotten egg!" she corrects herself.

"Mommy's the rotten egg!" Youngest shouts with glee as I drag myself into the car.

After everyone is buckled in, Angus has apparently been mulling over the rotten egg business.

"You know, Mommy really isn't the rotten egg in the family," she says quite thoughtfully. "Daddy should be the rotten egg cause he yelled at all of us, even Mommy, I heard him!"

"Yeah! He yellded at me too!" Youngest says.

"And me," Oldest sighs.

"I know!" Angus says. "When Daddy comes home we'll all ignore him and not talk to him, ok?"

They all agree eagerly. I don't say anything because I have already made up my mind that I was not speaking to the Troll for the rest of the day. All afternoon, the girls are giggling about how they are going to ignore Daddy when he gets home. When finally they hear the door open and Daddy comes upstairs, they quieten down right away.

"Hey," the Troll says as he looks around the room.

Oldest and Youngest studiously ignore him. I turn my back on him. But Angus takes one look at him and screams, "Daddy you are the Rotten Egg in the family!!!"

And with that the girls fall down like a house of cards as they explain to him how he mean he is and what he has to do to make it up to them. As the Troll apologizes profusely to them and tries to avoid actually giving into blackmail involving new DS games and pokemon cards, he tries to apologize to me. I ignore him. The girls become suddenly aware that Mom has turned into an Ice Queen. They are now watching fascinated as the Troll tries to hug me and extort my forgiveness. For the sake of the kids, I give him a half-assed pat on the back and subject myself to his hug. Satisfied, the Troll heads upstairs to change and I turn back to washing dishes. Behind me I hear Angus say, "Mommy is still mad at daddy." Oldest agrees and says, "I think Daddy is sleeping on the floor again."

Oh yes, my girls are smarter then their Daddy cause the next morning, Daddy was in a bad mood again, but this time from sleeping on the cold hard floor. HA HA!